Strange behavior again...

Another shouting session again this afternoon just when the Azaan of Magrib was heard...
Yuh , I do feel that the situation could have been handled in a gentle manner with wisdom . But so many kids were doing a wrong thing , just following an older wrong doer. Continuing with the game while the Magrib Azaan is heard means that they are getting a very wrong lesson of not caring about Salaat. As it was within my ability to prevent or to protest I did so.... but now I think I shouldn't have shouted like that in the end. It may raise a local conflict with that older boy and his family....so much to my mother's worry.But good manners and requests were not working . Now I am confused that should I have expected immediate response from kids...despite the wrong deviation of that one older boy of age 24/25...or could I have tried asking the other kids to leave the ground gently....!!?

#Worst case scenario: That boy drives the kids to do the same thing tomorrow in my presence and If I raise any voice again , a pre-planned conflict breaks out
(Gee how time just change ...now it has shifted me to the silent absorber group of "Gentle" ,"Vodro".."careing about life and family and a lot other things..!!! May be that's why I sometimes start to like my ruthless past while I was 17 /18/19!)

I should just keep these things away and concentrate on my preparation for the semester final...

Ghum ar ashbe kivabe...

Client Server technology er shob gulo assignment baki, May 22nd e Open Multitier er jonno akhono preperation nei ni...BA khete gie class miss dilam..ar er age extra class tao....kheal na thakai kora hoi ni.. Hotat kore ato ta uncontrolled hoe jacchi kano Hons kingba HSC life er moto...!!!!?

....shamner semester e Advanced AI ar Thesis nite parbo to ..? Jodi thesis nite gie jhamela kore ...?korbei ba kano ...? ami to nijer daittei nibo Insha Allah

Edaning matratirikto bokor-bokor korchi...? ai semester e notun vorti hoa ak meye exam preperation er shomoy bolchilo take dekhte eshe patrer baba jeno ki bolechilo...ar tar vai naki take tokhon jothesto support diechilo...
Janina ki karone ami ato interest nie oishob shunte gelam ar comments korte thaklam oi circle er aneker apotti shotteo.... oi circle bibahito obibahito purush mohila anekei bollo bapar ta nie kotha na bolte ..tao bollam....

No wonder!!! pore take deke ....jiggesh o korlam mind korechen kina ... ami ai shob bapare aktu beshi e interest feel kori...Hen ten...pls mind korben na

Kichudin dhore akta kotha mone porche . Aaj thekee prai 17 bosor age (1993) Class 7 e porar shomoy amar prio Keramot Ali Sir (Mr. Cool) amake bolechilen:

"Meeeeeeem toke ami class Faaaaaive e thakte bolechilam , kotha kom booooooool, kotha kom bola tor jonno dorkaaaaaaaar...."

Comilla Govt Lab e ami vorti hoi class 5 er majha-majhi shomoye(1991)...ar amader ai moddhya boyoshko cool & calm (urguebly) PT er teacher niten amader English Grammar class..Unar tottabodhane schooler boy-scout team o afterwards BNCC platoon e chilam till 1993.

Aaj atodin pore bujte parchi Sir er observation power koto goveeeeeer....

Nah ebar ghumano jak....

Why have I started to write in my blog this way...in Bangla !!!?

Exam, office...a lot of work ahead..and I'm tired..and need to take rest what I 'm not taking...

তারা ভরা এ রাত , ডাকে আমায় গভীর আকাশে ....,
আকাশের ওই নিল গন্ডিতে স্বপনে মিলি ...
সাদা মেঘের ভেলায় , উদাসী রাতের হাওয়ায় ..,
ভেসে থাকি , নীল স্বপনে .......

তারা ভরা এ রাত , ডাকে আমায় গভীর আকাশে ....
ভেসে আশা সাদা ফুলের সুবাসে গাছে নিবীড়  ছোঁয়ায়.....
আলো অর্পনাতে সোহাগী পরশে , হৃদয় আমার যে হারায়.....

ভেসে আশা সাদা ফুলের সুবাসে গাছে নিবীড়  ছোঁয়ায়.....
আলো অর্পনাতে সোহাগী পরশে , হৃদয় আমার যে হারায়.....

কে যেন ডেকে যায় , হৃদয়ে গভীর স্রোতে......
নিবীড় ছুঁয়ে যায় , আমায় জাগে সারা রাত ....


Another song of the legendary band Warfaze that reminds me of my school life....
Even though there is only one ex-Laboratorian in present Warfaze line up ..("Shams"...Keyboardist ...Lab '88 ...may be he is the first one in Warfaze lineup from my school) I feel the enthusiasm and gill of my Lab life sometimes when I hear some old songs sang by 'Sunjoy'....It's one of those....

"Eache kore Jai chole jai".. "Shiter shokal"..."Jibon je ato rongin".....by 'Chandan' (Wining) is also a good refresher when I'm so tired like now...

Still Optimistic to find somebody out of me

Now what...? even after the ultimatum from the Boss if I still waste my times this way....Then it would just be another surrender to myself. So many times I've tried to figure out a definition of me...
like
am I a lone wonderer across the Borishal Poly-technique Institute ?

am I the famous boy of class GLHS kotbari who started as a captain in class 6 and ended up sitting in the lady's bench as this years victim of Binita Madam ?

Am I the Mim, who is back on power in Class 7 elected with enormous difference in the vote for a clever politics ?

Am I a Cadet of kotbari GLHS platoon hoping to end up in the Army ?

Am I the strange teenager who is trynna drive away all his frustration of detaining in Class 8 again and loosing all his batch , his friends by staying dedicated to the GLHS platoon where he joined BNCC again after a year break ?

Am I the lone commander of Morning shift platoon to train and develop an all-round strong platoon bigger and better than the day shift..?

Am I the Mim of class 9 wakening up late at night by his Dad to finish General Maths almost being a robot...?

Am I the angry, ruthless, boy of 17 or 18 at DCC loosing all the grips on life development ?

Am I the Pagla or pagal of IIUC who has disappointed all the classmates who had high hopes on him ?

Am I the Tech Support Engineer of X-Net giving all-out effort and dedication for my company and then loosing to his own ego and temper?

am I an Intern who is still struggling to proof his +ve ness to switch to software track remaining as the lone ranger in 6th floor un-assigned to any project ?

But I still believe that I am the Mim of TTC who is....... .....


.........Insha Allah I'll fill in the gap with the words I like....

May be it was needed as a re-charging event

yuh...after a few days of some really reckless times and so many things going out of control this "Jhari" from a senior Laboratorian in a typical straight forward Laboratorian's way was necessary to remind me of an evergreen source of spirit.

A strange day...

Actually...if I say that I still can't find any reason for my strange acts and feelings throughout the day it'd be wrong. Cuzz after a long time I’m again on the verge of being a victim of my own looseness. But this time Insha Allah I am a lot more careful and determined to get back. Cuzz this time I’ve got some idea about the parameters that work against my spirit. Which are of course the agony of lagging behind in the race and a very harmful frustrating "giving up" sort of mind set as it's worst consequence. But the fact is I can now feel that I ain getting no younger with time to keep relying on my "enthusiasm" of fighting back from any odd state.(Really it's not a good feeling to sense the effects of getting older..). That's why I guess I need to take care of my overall "Management". That's necessary to keep the fight on and Insha Allah gradually I'm getting better with that.

Trying to feel those 30 minutes of February 21,1952.....for a momment

Breaking 144 ..., marching on with the rally...., shouting loud against the power...., taking bullets..., giving lives....,.....and.... that's it!!!

Well the first question that should come in  mind is "..Why...!!?"

For mother language....!!?

....Right..!! ...But is that what it's all about .....!!!?

..........Actually that's what we see from outside....

I take it as the first signal from a nation standing strong for it's existence and identity....(After 200 years as we finally felt that we are being asked questions.. )

Taking co-ordinates from this spirit, I tried to draw the graph stretching it forward along the axis of time (many others may also have tried so.....) , plotting them with some more points from the event that occurred nineteen years later. Tried to realize the force that made the nation united to declare independence all on a sudden, taking weapons in hand and fight against a strong army in 1971..., fighting on.... sacrificing lives till the victory is achieved.

Now the question for my generation or the generation next could possibly be , "..Then what... !!?" or "...Now what...!!?"

My personal answer would be :  ..Let's try to imagine it for a moment

"....What if they didn't...!!!?"


Hopefully, when you find the answer, you can realize what you need to do or what you can do and more importantly what we are doing.... to proudly feel yourselves as a part of this great nation.

And for those soldiers, who are still living amongst us with the memory of their brave attempts, I believe they still hold the counter question that they held in their heart at those 30 minutes in '52 or at those 9 months in '71. The question is of course:
…. “.......Why not...?”
The story at Wikipedia