Feels good to know that I had such a man in distant relatives.

A great fighter pilot he was... Have heard a lot about him from my mother and relatives. But this ill-fated nation with the legacy of loosing or letting go of its greater and greatest assets (be it accidentally or because of the self destructive national stupidity) lost this son way back in the late 80's. I was 6 or 7 years old when I heard this sad news from my mother and was sad that I couldn't manage to see this uncle while he was alive. Not surprisingly to my parents, I started carrying ' becoming a fighter pilot ' in my big bunch of  aims in life ever since. I wish I could hold on to that aim till the end of my HSC in 2000.  Cause at that time I literally drove myself away from applying to defence going against the interest of my mother, granny and aunts. For my keen interest of studying Computer Science I remember I had to deal with a lot of family complexities. One of the causes was obviously that I deprived them to see me applying in the defence. Eleven years later in 2011, when I was walking out of ISSB as a ‘not selected’ candidate of Air Force Engineering Core, I again felt sad for the silly mistakes that I might have made in my 4 days stay there. Anyway, today let’s pray for the soul of  Flight Lieutenant Aynul Habib, a brave and brilliant defence officer of this nation along with many other such officers with bright prospects who lost their lives in the BDR Massacre in February , 2009. May Allah bless their soul in eternal peace and save our beloved motherland from such unexpected and pathetic loss of her brave sons.

A day of elation and agony (and of lessons) Alhamdulillah......... and then re-activating FB

 

Yuh...!! That elation came when almost unexpectedly I found the battery of my repaired lappy is working properly, Alhamdulillah!!. Even though two arrow keys were not working , it was a big relief for me Alhamdulillah. It's been drizzling since last night due to some winter-farewell or summer-arriving depression and I arrived the varsity late to do some lab works for my thesis. However, this gloomy day was not actually the main origin of my agony. But this one might have added up to the pain with that of Sheikh Jamal Dhanmondi's 4-5 sudden death defeat  against Calcutta Mohammedan last evening.

 Now, as I said on my FB , this might have been the 8^th or 9^th  loss of cell phone for me, Innalillah!! .............Most probably it fell out of my trouser’s waist pocket, once again....!!

 There are 2 reasons that my phones have always been the cheapest ones of the market.

        1.       That's what I can afford...

and... 2. I keep losing it...!!


 .......I mean that has been the story so far....

But,  some agonizingly excruciating and common questions has started to pop up again.

“When would I actually call it a day for this sort of silly carelessness?”

“As a man of 32 from a middle-class family what should have been the level of my sense of responsibility!!?”   
“Where am I standing right now (personally or professionally)....!!?”

Now the perilous thing with these questions is that like most of my country men I seem to get used to with these agonies at some stage and become numb and number or more insensitive to the call of time.

One day, I decided that, God willing, I will set a meaningful standard for my life before I finally consider myself to be getting old. I can’t allow myself to become so comfortably numb!
Now, come to the point of the numbness of the people of this land. They saw how the ruling party has retained the throne with near about 150 of total 300 sits being taken without any pole and the rests were sworn in with a 5% vote casts while the main opposition stayed away from this government party led election. From a Rickshaw-Puller to a Business lord, everybody knows what in fact has happened at the advent of and at the time of the pole and also what is happening now.
But they all along with the opposition seem to be quite okay and very much comfortable with it.
USA  is giving no certain commitments to reinstate GSP for our garments, foreign relations and investments are at stake with not enough recognition for this government, local investors are thinking of moving their businesses out of this country, a threat of another world wide recession at any time is now on, country’s cricket’s future is clearly threatened by the BCB supported  arguable petition of the 3 self declared cricket lords... and we all are just okay with all these...!!  

You know what the amazing thing about all these numbness or lacks of sensibility is !!!?  It’s not all so unpromising In shaa Allah. If an apparently insensible, irresponsible and careless boy like me can get through such critical stages successfully in his educational, professional and personal life by the rahmat (blessing) of Allah then the nation of freedom fighters and hard-working people will very likely bounce back finding a way out of this uncertainty In shaa Allah. I hope the ruling party ,the opposition ie. all the politicians of this country will realize their responsibility and the commitment to this nation some day In shaa Allah. May Allah help us all.  

Getting back to this old practice of offloading head and heart after a while

Yuh..!!! it's been really a long time since I've directly put something on my blog for this purpose. Now at this hour at night after twelve hours of exhaustive, hastening and chilling time I guess my declining intellect (because of age and work-less days ) suddenly has got enough thrust to bring out some words to ease down the heaviness in my heart or head. It’s actually a depression formed out of some dramatic re-occurrence (or should I say reassessment..!!?) of some cold-feeling or a kind of negligence that I had to face from some of my mother side relatives. The agonizing part of this not-so-new-to-me matter is that this time I pushed myself into it thinking that all those cold feelings are gone and warmth of relation is being felt in this typical family. (May be continued)................... ........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................I need to be more reserved.